Choose. Make a decision. Prioritize.

These words have haunted me since school began. Parents, teachers, coaches, directors; they've all been telling em to choose.

As if I could.

For those of you that aren't aware of the basics, I'll go ahead and outline everything:

I am currently involved in

• Marching Band (Crimson Rage)
• Show Choir (Mystiques)
• Cross-Country
• Advanced Theatre/Soon-to-Be Musical
• RAC (Reader's Advisory Club) - presidency

This, plus honors/AP classes, adds up to a lot.

Thus far I've done alright at making all of my commitments equally. I've gone to as many practices as physically possible, and kept up almost completely. Unfortunately, though, I'm not a god. I can't do everything.

That concept (of my imperfection, of sorts) was realized to a deeper level when I, for a time, was forced to give up my RAC presidency due to time constraints. Thankfully I've managed to retain the title for a later period, but still; it was a close call.

Unfortunately I've reached another speed bump: the musical. This year we're doing Guys and Dolls. As you may be aware, I want to be a theatre teacher. This means it's absolutely vital that I have as active a roll as possible in the acting community. My commitment to the choral and theatrical departments is priority, above all else.

Looking at the schedule today, I eventually came to the conclusion that, once again,I must make a choice.

I can only do one thing.

Cross-Country, or Guys and Dolls.

I know what I would choose, if I had to. The musical, without a doubt. Yes, that would mean quitting Cross-Country. Remember, though, that I never meant to join XC in the first place. It was completely on a whim. And even though I don't regret joining - the team has taught me more that I can express - I feel like I'm going to have to prioritize.

And it hurts.

On the first bathroom stall in the XC locker rooms there's a quote on the door. It reads

"It's not about how much you do, but how much love you put into what you do."

-Mother Teresa

This is also something that has repeated itself in my mind. It is a constant, and my mantra. So much of our lives are taken up with achieving our goals. Do, do, do. But what if what you're doing isn't something you love? What if you don't even know why you're doing something?

I do what I do to improve myself. To grow. The flower does not grow seeds needlessly - it has a purpose for what it does, and does it for a purpose.

That is what I must do. I know my purpose. Now I must figure out if what I'm doing is contributing to that purpose, or just holding me back.

So many choices to make.