Within

the rain smells like fire
a burning depression
commit to my soul
a sacred obsession
the cult's not enough
satanic - too weak
not powerful enough
for this kind of relief
bordering on insanity
jumping lines
breaking down walls
destroy that which defines
my being, my soul
my lack of true faith
in the world, in the men
that dictate the divine
opression's too heavy
supporesion - not worth it
I try to diffuse
the pressures that surface
I cannot succeed
but I'll try again
to take on the anger
and pain that's within

Timelessness

time slows itself
on this spacious earth
as it tries to hide
from emotional worth-
(less-ness) of it all
crashes down on me
too much to live
not enough to be
it's all relative
as my mind slows down
but I can't pull back
it's the life I chose
to live with myself
it all comes back
as I crash and burn
it's a cold hard fact
it's not what we wanted
didn't sign up for this
we try so hard
but can't help but miss
because you're always gone
too much to do
never felt so wrong

Top to Bottom

this strange town
has got me on edge
and you caught me
climbing the way
to freedom
I was on top
but I just can't stop
and think straight
the words are jumbled
falling out of my mind
I'm going to fast
I can't wait this time
to tell you
that I'm leaving you behind

life is calm
the moon is a sun
the daylight of the night

September

the sky is white
blue, and grey
the air is getting cooler
I know that I might
catch a chill
but I still love to be here

random poem we spouted in french class

i'm way up high
high in the sky
i fly so high
oh yes, oh yes
i fly
i'm a bird
way up high
and i fly
with my wings
and i sing
my song

I really can't think of a title for this right now...

i don't have the words
to say what i mean
i cannot describe
what i know or have seen
life is so hard
and it just gets worse
and will be til the day
i break this curse
i just can't beat it
i know that now
you cannot defeat it
not blood nor foul
a life will remain
no matter who dies
the evil's still there
you can see it in your eyes

you can't claim possesion
over what you do not own
and the pain won't go away
'though you scream and you moan

life is not an object
it can't be held or bargained
you cannot trade for what you want
there is no way to win

...

What's with the happy???

what is with
all this happiness and bliss?
it won't go away
and i'm about to get pissed
i write my own work
yet it can't be done
'cause if happy is final
then i'll burn in the sun

A random song I wrote at Freshman Orientation

complications
surround me
confusion
overwhelms me
old meets
the new
and friends
turn from few
into many
large numbers
as you
meet and greet
the masses

it never ends
this status quo
it never goes away
and so i shall endure
until i get away someday
clearly i have noticed that
no one knows me here
but then this is a new world
and the rules are not yet clear
i'll take a chance and see if
i can make a splash

but i don't think that's
how this works
can you help me out?
i don't know what i'm doing
who i am or where we are
but in this mass
of unknown factors
i must set the bar

if you rise above it
i suppose that we may be
but if you fall beneath it
there's no future
that i can see
help me out this one time
and i will pay you back
it's a deal
a pact, a promise
and i won't take it back

Hate

Hate is a strong word
but the only one i'd use
when describing you
my feelings for you
aren't close to love

I hate you
yet the word
doesn't even come close
I hate you
there's nothing else
to say (but)
I hate you
look what you've done to me
I can't forgive you
and I can't make excuses anymore

I sit in this room
and contemplate my revenge
it's the only thing
I can do anymore

No Title - any ideas?

my mind goes blank
I don't know what to write
you want to help
but it's a fruitless fight
i can't do much
but sit around
you wouldn't expect it
but what i've found
is if you don't try
then you don't suceed
but if you try too hard
you're sad indeed
for too much effort
is a sin in itself
you're lying to your face
and cheating yourself
so if you don't want to try
then why bother
with the questions
if no one wants to answer
for fear of the reactioin

Transparency (random mini poem)

your failings
your lies
they stick out
like flies
on a sheet
of glass

A bit of old school poem

does my mood decieve you?
do you think i'm in love?
do you think that i'm happy?
am I clear as the blue
in this bright, pretty sky
you seem to think
that my mood does imply
my feelings right now
my real emotions
that's funny - no really

you're naive to think
that i'd be so blatant
that i'd let myself go
and let my heart be plain
I don't share my secrets
and my pain stays hidden
so what you see now?
that's nothing to be shittin'

So i've got a little ghetto
close to my heart
does that tell you something?
give you a clue or a start
I bet it would surprise you
I grew up in Indy
you've got nothing on me
no, no, continue

i've got style to my name
a little house on the prarie
well i'm european to the bone
try again, but be wary

you'll find much of me
is shrouded in shadows
i don't share my love
my needs or my battles
in case you're wondering now
what i'm really like
too bad, you'll have to guess
try stepping up to the mike

tell me 'bout yourself
tell me what should I see
wehn I look into you personally
when I make a connection
and find common ground
this shit can get tough
so let's make some sound

I guess you don't know
what it's like for us yet
but soon you will learn
and find some regret
in the path that you chose
if you followed your heart
you may find it hard
but in the end you'll be right

Yet Another Unnamed Emo Poem

I’m sitting here
In the bright sunlight
How can I be so sad
Yet live in this sunshiny world?
When you get depressed
Aren’t the skies supposed to turn grey?
Everyone shares your pain
And the world turns ashen?
What happened to empathy
And living with the guilt?
How am I the only one suffering?
Am I really just overreacting?
Do I really just see attention?
If this is me pretending
Then what am I when I’m real?

I know I’m not a faker
So why do they say I lie
Is it really possible that they don’t know
Or am I just not showing what I feel?
Whose fault is it
That I’m this way
Or is it no ones at all?
Is it possible not to lay blame
And for things to just happen?
Or are we avoiding the subject
Because we’re cowards?

My thoughts turn over in my head
Oh look, the sky’s turned grey
I guess I’ve got my sad world now
Are you happy for me?

-Sarah

Random Emo-Or-Not Poem

You say that I write emo poetry
well that may be true - tell me, what do you see?
I see a girl with no lack of sadness or agression
afraid to be loved but don't like possesion
I see a boy who's got eyes for one thing
he sees a good girl and gives her a ring
he's got the eyes and passion so she says okay
but once it happens it'll never go away
so she'll sit with the guilt and the worry and fear
she's lost everything that she once held dear.
the rhymes may be right but the heart is so wrong
how can it be in love when it sings that sad son?
is that all love is - a sorry dance or a jig?
or is there no love, only a sick, sexist pig
who steals your life and love and laughter
who won't let you be happy, not then or hereafter?
it it really that simple, or do we have a hope?
is there such a chance, or is it all just a joke?
it can't be that simple, when it's all said and done
or there's no point of the laughter, the love, and the fun.
I guess I'll find out, someday soon or someday later
and until that happens I'll say he's just a hater. ;D

--

It's kind of random and nonsensical, and a bit ghetto here and there, but I was high off cold meds last night and wrote a poem, so...here it is.

-Sarah

Complications - Poem

Uh, okay, this really isn't about anyone in particular...It kind of started out like that but then I'm not sure where it went from there...feedback rocks!

Complications

Would you be offended
If we were going too fast?
if the adrenaline rush
was steering off path?

Would you be annoyed
if I had to wait?
If I didn't know yet
if I wanted to date?

And what if I say
that I don't want you back?
If I turn this around,
if I go off-track?

Would you still like me
if I just wanted to be friends?
Do we have to be typical?
Why follow social trends?

And if I just want a hug
would you take it badly?
Will you be nice
or will I leave sadly?

And can we go to the movies
without making out?
Can we just sit in
if I want to sit out?

And what will happen
with the pressure from others?
Will you still be mature
or make jokes about mothers?

Can I trust you to be
a faithful friend?
or will you be bitter
and make this the end?

If I made a mistake
and want to be done
can we still be cool?
Can we still have fun?

And if I wanted to stop
before it even began
would you call me a coward
and say that I ran?

And if I'm inexperienced
and you wanted to know
would you laugh in my face?
Would you let it show?

Can I be open
but not get hurt?
Can you be brief
but not be curt?

Would you cut me off
if I'm not al in?
I have so much to say -
where do I begin?

My feelings are jumbled
but one and the same
I'm sick of this pointless
silly old game

I suppose when I'm ready
I'll let you know.
But until that happens
don't make us a show.

Don't make us an object
of public display
don't laugh but don't pity
my hurt and dismay.

I'll be fine, I swear it
I can move on.
It may take some time
but it's darkest before dawn.

-Sarah